At Home, East Arlington, Massachusettes
Tonight was a perfect night with my husband that will not be repeated once kids are around.
5:00pm - Get into a fight about stupid hurtful comments made by both parties while reheating leftovers.
5:10pm - End fight and make up, both parties feeling bad. Lots of kisses and sad, repentant sounds. Eat leftovers and watch Parks and Rec.
5:40pm - Set off on a long walk in the brisk fall weather. Fully dissect and dish on work politics and school life.
7:15pm - Continue the conversation over beer, hard cider, and carrot cake at the bar down the block. Conversation moves into topics of dreams and hopes and fears for life.
9:00pm - Go home. Have crazy good sex. As in, really good sex.
9:40pm - Fall into bed. I write while Trey lucidly describes the intimate details of his GRE dominance, trying to understand which 2 questions he got wrong and delving into random word definitions. He finishes with the statement, "I feel like I could take verbal GRE tests every day and really enjoy it, you know?" His greatest woe is that he can't find out which 2 questions he got wrong on the verbal test.
10:00pm - Sleep. Because when you are our age and don't have kids, you can choose to go to bed early and get lots of glorious autumn-breezed sleep.
About the Project
This is a very personal project. It tracks my growth and development as I journeyed toward motherhood over the recent years. It doesn't document every experience I had, and probably neglects my more joyful and peaceful moments in the frenzy of trying to communicate my fears, anxieties, and doubts. If you are a friend or loved one, please do not let anything you read here overshadow what you know of me personally. If you are a stranger, please remember that a living and flawed person stands behind these words. To all my guests here, please understand these are not political statements and try to extend me grace, even as I share my failures and foibles - I have repented of much of what I share. I don't share this journal as an exemplar, but rather out of the desire to share my hope that entrance to motherhood does not need to be a fearful thing - despite the very real fears I have fought against. Motherhood is simply a part of life and one through which I am discovering more of myself and my God.