At Home, Cambridge, Massachusetts
Yesterday the women in my life in Boston gave me a baby shower. It was wonderful. Sweet L. has been such a faithful and thoughtful friend and I don’t know what the last five years would have been like without her. She is definitely a better friend than I have deserved. This morning as I was getting ready for church, I was thinking about the community that I’m a part of here and thinking about just how incredibly lonely it must be to not have a community like the church in one’s life. I guess women without a religious community do often find community somehow, but I also guess that it is often much riskier. Sometimes when I think about the loneliness of urban, secular America, it makes me want to cry it seems so big and deep and overwhelming. I can’t imagine any time in life in which I would feel more lonely than preparing for childbirth if I did not have a serious community to be part of.
About the Project
This is a very personal project. It tracks my growth and development as I journeyed toward motherhood over the recent years. It doesn't document every experience I had, and probably neglects my more joyful and peaceful moments in the frenzy of trying to communicate my fears, anxieties, and doubts. If you are a friend or loved one, please do not let anything you read here overshadow what you know of me personally. If you are a stranger, please remember that a living and flawed person stands behind these words. To all my guests here, please understand these are not political statements and try to extend me grace, even as I share my failures and foibles - I have repented of much of what I share. I don't share this journal as an exemplar, but rather out of the desire to share my hope that entrance to motherhood does not need to be a fearful thing - despite the very real fears I have fought against. Motherhood is simply a part of life and one through which I am discovering more of myself and my God.