Tuesday, February 10, 2015

At Home, East Arlington, Massachusetts

Last night I dreamed I was pregnant. Like all dreams it devolved into oddness and I ended up being only hysterically pregnant. But for a while I was really pregnant in my dream and it was so happy. I could feel the baby in my womb and an emotional fullness filled my dream. This morning, I've been so excited thinking about having a baby. 

Amazingly, I found myself wanting to get pregnant more than wanting to get a dog. That may sound odd, but I've been wanting to get a dog for years. I've wanted to get one this summer before trying to have a baby, but I'm proud of myself because this morning I realized that if I'm really thinking about working, and being in school, and having a child, then a dog is way too much to add to the mix. And I was ok with it.

I didn't feel a need to control the situation – having all of the ducks I want before starting a family and lining them up perfectly. The warm emotions of being pregnant in my dream continued throughout the day and having a baby was suddenly so much more important and exciting than making sure my desire to have a dog is first fulfilled. I can get a dog for the kids when they are old enough and I'll still enjoy it just as much. And it'll be awesome to teach my children the joy of canines.