Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, South Hamilton, Massachusetts
I've started buying clothes that will double as maternity clothing. I know this is about the most ridiculous thing ever, and I haven't bought these clothes specifically for that purpose. But I really like "comfy" clothes and have found myself gravitating towards and purchasing more and more tunics. Whenever I do, I find myself thinking, "Oh this is cute now and it will be great when I'm pregnant!" And then I get a little thrill. Last week, I almost bought my first piece of clothing with maternity truly in mind. I was at Anthropologie looking for a dress for Trey's Baccalaureate dinner. I found a nice dress for the dinner, but also tried on a stretchy dress that would be really unusual for me now. I was pretty bloated that day and my normal stomach pooch looked a little more baby-bump-like than normal, and I realized the dress would look amazing on a pregnant woman. I couldn't think of a time or way to wear it not pregnant, so I didn’t end up buying it, but now I'm doubting myself because it would have made the cutest maternity dress.
About the Project
This is a very personal project. It tracks my growth and development as I journeyed toward motherhood over the recent years. It doesn't document every experience I had, and probably neglects my more joyful and peaceful moments in the frenzy of trying to communicate my fears, anxieties, and doubts. If you are a friend or loved one, please do not let anything you read here overshadow what you know of me personally. If you are a stranger, please remember that a living and flawed person stands behind these words. To all my guests here, please understand these are not political statements and try to extend me grace, even as I share my failures and foibles - I have repented of much of what I share. I don't share this journal as an exemplar, but rather out of the desire to share my hope that entrance to motherhood does not need to be a fearful thing - despite the very real fears I have fought against. Motherhood is simply a part of life and one through which I am discovering more of myself and my God.